What do you do when your resting face looks like a scowl--or, worse, a contemptuous sneer--but without conscious knowledge of it, UNINTENTIONALLY, without meaning it at all? What to do, what to do??
Resting Bytchface is a serious lifelong condition!
Why do people get upset by this? It’s in the subtle signals, like one side of the lip pulled back slightly, the eyes squinting a little,” says one researcher. “There’s a tightening around the eyes, and a little bit of raising of the corners of the lips — but not into a smile,” another suggested. Occasionally it's just a full-on scowl accompanied by a "stay away from me for your own good" glare. But the face's owner will insist that she's zoned out, not even thinking about you or looking at you. It's just . . . RBF.
But wait!! Why do some people think there is something "wrong" with not smiling like a fakey car saleman when they're not interacting with someone? Just shows how prejudiced people are against introverts, quiet types (and the people who "won't meet your gaze" because they have Asperger's or whatever) and people who don't run around acting ecstatic at all times as if life is some kind of amazing fairy tale. Whee! I wanna thank my fairy godmother! There has to be a pony under here somewhere!*
*Joke: Kid opens door to find HUGE pile of horsepoop on doorstep. He breaks into a grin, gets a shovel, and dives into the pile. "Why are you doing that?" his mother asks, getting hysterical. His voice comes out of the pile: "There's got to
be a pony under here somewhere!"
My dog, on the other hand, has resting smileyface. *He* is cute.
Conclusion: smiley face attracts way more nice people (as well as flies, the only downside).
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
The Darkness at the Center--preview chapter
Here's a glimpse of the first chapter of my new YA that's NOT a fantasy but an exploration of psychological and sexual harassment by a preteen's piano teacher (more serious than my normal work).
Twelve-year-old Elise Francis struck the final note of "Fur Elise" and felt the Steinway baby grand's vibrations resonate all the way up her arm.
She winced. Once again, she'd landed too hard on the last note, "banging" the ending.
Her teacher, Mrs. Robi--or at least her reflection in the huge mirror above the piano-- leaned back, nodding. "You know what went wrong?"
Elise could feel her face flaming out, just as her hands tingled with the error. "Whamming down my thumb at the end of every phrase. I forgot again."
Mrs. Robi's reflection staggered a little. "Mercy," she gasped.
"Sorry. I'll try to remember."
Instead of remonstrating further, Mrs. Robi made a strangled noise.
That brought Elise's head up and around. "Are you OK?"
"Another little dizzy spell, is all." The elderly instructor groped for the brocade wing chair behind her and sat heavily. "I'll be fine in a minute. Run through 'Doctor Gradus and Parnassum' real quick for me, and that'll do it."
Ellie examined her teacher. Mrs. Robi's face was really pale. Almost as gray as her hair. She was breathing pretty heavily. Panting, actually. "Are you sure? I can get my mom. She's right down the street at Mrs. Shirley's doing their bitch-and-stitch, but it's totally informal."
Mrs. R. shook her head violently, then grimaced. "No, no, hon. Don't bother her. I just need to sit a minute, and remember not to shake my head." She closed her eyes. "Play, dear. If you present to me a reading worthy of Saint Claude, I'll be perfectly restored."
She tended to refer to the composers by first names like that.
After a moment Elise turned back to the Steinway. The ivory keys were cool and her fingertips clung briefly as she touched them to the opening notes. She heard a sigh from behind and suspected her teacher wanted a faster tempo, so she speeded up, almost imperceptibly.
Even though she hadn't considered playing it this fast, the quicker tempo worked. Elise raised her hands at the end, pleased with herself.
"Wonderful," her teacher said. But she didn't clap as she usually did. Instead, she coughed and then choked, loudly. Elise swiveled around in alarm.
Mrs. Robi was slumped over, head on her knees.
Elise slid off the bench quickly, but her teacher raised her head. Instead of reassuring Elise, Mrs. Robi murmured, "I do feel strange," and began fanning herself with the Dover edition of "Die Fledermaus" (which she'd picked up off the coffee table, where Elise's dad had been browsing it earlier, for grins.) Bullets of sweat were building up on her forehead.
"Do you need a glass of water? Are you too warm?" Ellie swung her head towards the thermostat. No, the room was chilly as always, kept that way so the temperamental baby grand wouldn't go out of tune so quickly. In here it was forever Alaska.
"Oh, I'm all right, you know me. A hot flash." Mrs. R. wiped her forehead with the gossamer sleeve of her fancy tunic. "Go on. Let's do the Beethoven sonatina, if you have it under your fingers." She lifted an eyebrow, which made Elise feel more reassured because it was one of her typical I challenge you expressions. "Make me hear that tension in the adagio."
So Ellie turned back to the piano, took a deep breath, and finally lifted her fingers to the keyboard.
She was playing the quiet section when she thought she heard wheezing, like her little brother when he needed his inhaler, but she wasn't sure and she didn't want to ruin the flow. She'd gotten over stopping when she made a mistake and didn't want to plow that field again. Besides, the right side of her brain was in charge right now and she wasn't thinking logically; she had entered the ethereal plane of music, just sequencing the melody and counterpoint and feeling the muscle memory in her fingers where she had parts memorized. And so when the THUD came followed by the CRASH, it startled her so that she nearly fell off the bench. *is there counterpoint in any Beethoven sonatina??**zamma
Her piano teacher lay curled on Daddy's expensive Persian rug, convulsing. The crashing sound had been her mother's Tiffany roses lamp, which was now on the floor cracked into perfect halves. Mrs. Robi must have grasped the edge of that linen table runner on the end table trying to catch herself, but instead it followed her down.
"Hey! What was that?"
Elise glanced up. Her little brother Jamie hung over the polished banister halfway down the stairs, saucer-eyed, gripping the balusters as he goggled.
"Call 911!"
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Recipes Of The Day!
For readers of APRIL, MAYBE JUNE (and everyone else, of course), a couple of recipes for foods seen in the novel.
LYNWOOD'S GOOD COOKIES (NO DUST)
Based On Toll House Oatmeal
(About 4 dozen cookies)
1 ¾ cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt (optional)
1 ¼ cups packed light brown sugar
1 cup butter, softened
½ cup sugar
2 eggs
2 tablespoons milk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 ½ cups old-fashioned oats (Quaker oatmeal)
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate morsels (Hershey's or Nestle's)
1 cup coarsely chopped nuts (optional)
Combine flour, baking soda, and salt in separate mixing bowl. Beat brown sugar, butter, and sugar with mixer (in large bowl) until creamy. Gradually beat in eggs, milk, and vanilla. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in oats, morsels, and nuts.
Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake in preheated 375 degree oven for 9 to 10 minutes for chewy cookies or 12 to 13 minutes for crispy cookies. Watch so that they don't burn! Let stand for 1 minute; remove to wire rack to cool completely.
APRIL'S TRAVEL MIX (like trail mix)
1 cup sweetened dried cranberries
1/2 cup dried tart cherries
1/2 cup dried pineapple pieces
1 cup candy-coated dark chocolate pieces (such as M&M's Dark Chocolate) or Reese's Pieces; you could use 1/2 cup of each
2 1/2 cups salted deluxe mixed nuts (without peanuts)
Combine (shake, shake, shake!) and store in an airtight container.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Book Signing 6/14--Partied Heartily!
The Magical Mystery Book Launch Party for APRIL, MAYBE JUNE, at Lucky Dog Books/Lochwood in Dallas today was a great success!
I'm simply exhausted--my legs are aching from the knees to the tootsies--but I had to post these photos, taken by Hubby with his phone camera. Believe it or not, I didn't even get my purple SureShot out. I am the big photo nerd and I didn't take any!? Ridiculous. But it's true. I was so busy answering questions and talking about publishing, my writing process, why I have two names, and so forth . . . we could hardly keep the food table replenished. I would say it was a great success! Thank you to all who showed up and stayed or just perched with us for a time! See you there again around August 9th for a multi-author party!
No photo could have done this cheese/grapes/berries tray justice. Especially since we snapped this photo as soon as we got the food table set up. It was the Rustic Cheese Tray from Central Market in Plano, the large size, and it was simply FABULOUS! We also had the Cracker Basket that went with it (Carr's Pepper Water Crackers and other stuff). Then the lady who helps with bookstore events brought beautiful strawberries. The mini cupcakes and cookies/brownies went quickly, as well. But this TRAY! I can certainly recommend the Central Market (HEB) catering items.
This is SUCH a fabulous local bookstore! The staff was nicer to us than anyone deserved, and we wish more people would drop by (I left books for sale on top of the counter in the front . . . but you could browse their VAST selection of art books, novels, educational stuff, DVDs, and everything you can imagine, too!) Our fave location is this one in funky East Dallas, but they have an Oak Cliff location and one in Mesquite, as well. So come on down.
I really, REALLY should have had my camera out. But oh well. Sometimes you cope as best you can! Hope to see you at the next signing!
I'm simply exhausted--my legs are aching from the knees to the tootsies--but I had to post these photos, taken by Hubby with his phone camera. Believe it or not, I didn't even get my purple SureShot out. I am the big photo nerd and I didn't take any!? Ridiculous. But it's true. I was so busy answering questions and talking about publishing, my writing process, why I have two names, and so forth . . . we could hardly keep the food table replenished. I would say it was a great success! Thank you to all who showed up and stayed or just perched with us for a time! See you there again around August 9th for a multi-author party!
No photo could have done this cheese/grapes/berries tray justice. Especially since we snapped this photo as soon as we got the food table set up. It was the Rustic Cheese Tray from Central Market in Plano, the large size, and it was simply FABULOUS! We also had the Cracker Basket that went with it (Carr's Pepper Water Crackers and other stuff). Then the lady who helps with bookstore events brought beautiful strawberries. The mini cupcakes and cookies/brownies went quickly, as well. But this TRAY! I can certainly recommend the Central Market (HEB) catering items.
This is SUCH a fabulous local bookstore! The staff was nicer to us than anyone deserved, and we wish more people would drop by (I left books for sale on top of the counter in the front . . . but you could browse their VAST selection of art books, novels, educational stuff, DVDs, and everything you can imagine, too!) Our fave location is this one in funky East Dallas, but they have an Oak Cliff location and one in Mesquite, as well. So come on down.
I really, REALLY should have had my camera out. But oh well. Sometimes you cope as best you can! Hope to see you at the next signing!
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Magical Mystery Book Tour Begins! Launch Party 6/14 in Dallas
Shalanna Collins' Magical Mystery Book Tour! Launch Party-Book Signing 6/14 in Dallas, Texas!
Saturday, June 14th, from 11 AM to 1 PM, there will be a launch party for *APRIL, MAYBE JUNE by Shalanna Collins*, given by Muse Harbor Publishing, held at Lucky Dog Books/Lochwood, 10801 Garland Rd, Dallas, TX 75218, 214/827-4860.
We will have wine (I can't drink it, but why can't you?), cheese tray, appetizers, and cupcakes from the best bakery in Dallas that's right next door (voted by Dallas Observer and D Magazine fans), along with entertainment including the author acting out part of a scene from the book with willing audience participants and (with luck) accompanied by interpretive belly dance troupe. Come one, come all. You'll have the chance to buy the book at a discount or WIN it. Door prizes include tote bags, T-shirts, stationery, gift certificates to Lucky Dog Books, copies of the book, a disposable (ha) video camera, and a few joke gifts. You get a ticket to the drawing just for staying to the end, and you get an extra ticket with each book you buy. Such a deal!
See you there!
Saturday, June 14th, from 11 AM to 1 PM, there will be a launch party for *APRIL, MAYBE JUNE by Shalanna Collins*, given by Muse Harbor Publishing, held at Lucky Dog Books/Lochwood, 10801 Garland Rd, Dallas, TX 75218, 214/827-4860.
We will have wine (I can't drink it, but why can't you?), cheese tray, appetizers, and cupcakes from the best bakery in Dallas that's right next door (voted by Dallas Observer and D Magazine fans), along with entertainment including the author acting out part of a scene from the book with willing audience participants and (with luck) accompanied by interpretive belly dance troupe. Come one, come all. You'll have the chance to buy the book at a discount or WIN it. Door prizes include tote bags, T-shirts, stationery, gift certificates to Lucky Dog Books, copies of the book, a disposable (ha) video camera, and a few joke gifts. You get a ticket to the drawing just for staying to the end, and you get an extra ticket with each book you buy. Such a deal!
See you there!
Saturday, April 26, 2014
FREE KINDLE BOOK! YA fantasy/urban fantasy (no vampires, though)
Did I mention that one of my YA urban fantasy novels is up FREE for the Kindle this weekend?
CAMILLE'S TRAVELS, my gritty, streetwise YA fantasy/urban fantasy ebook is FREE on Amazon until Tuesday.
Camille MacTavish is a seventeen-year-old runaway escaping an abusive home life with a stolen magic dragon in the pocket of her jeans. Which could be fun, if the dragon didn't attract all the wrong people. Who is after her, and why?
PLEASE take advantage of this and get your FREE book. Tell me what you think of it.
Hey, what can it hurt--it's FREE!
Camille's Travels
CAMILLE'S TRAVELS, my gritty, streetwise YA fantasy/urban fantasy ebook is FREE on Amazon until Tuesday.
Camille MacTavish is a seventeen-year-old runaway escaping an abusive home life with a stolen magic dragon in the pocket of her jeans. Which could be fun, if the dragon didn't attract all the wrong people. Who is after her, and why?
PLEASE take advantage of this and get your FREE book. Tell me what you think of it.
Hey, what can it hurt--it's FREE!
Camille's Travels
Monday, February 24, 2014
Musings on process and result
I kind of hate to put a post up that will "override" the one inviting you all to come to Left Coast Crime to hear me talk on various panels (and get a chance to win one of my books FREE, or get bookmarks and pens anyhow). But I was talking with another artist about process and results, and I thought our convo was worth sharing.
She's focused on process more than results. She says she knows her art (painting sets for the theater, doing small paintings or sketches for individuals, and the like) is ephemeral, but it doesn't bother her. She writes:
"It's not the legacy but the execution, the actual doing, that gives me zen."
This is a great orientation. I somehow got the "make something that lasts and possibly outlasts you" gene. I think that when my cousins (the boys, anyway) used to take my crayon drawings and tear them up off the fridge, I got the impression that I didn't like working hard on something that there was only one copy of and that didn't even get seen by my grandmother before it got destroyed. Although I do enjoy the process of creating!
If we didn't love the process, we couldn't do it. We'd be like that raging bull guy in the construction business who can't stand his job because he has to be up on the broiling roof all day.
Writing a novel is part puzzle, part planning, part flying by the seat of your pants, and part listening for the Muse in case she decides to sing a while. The good passages in my books are when the Muse approved and began to hum. Very occasionally she busts into song ("bursts" is just not the Texan way to phrase it). Those are the great parts that people quote on Goodreads.
I have never believed the misguided advice in workshops to "kill your darlings," BTW. That would be silly. You must take out extraneous, redundant, silly, self-indulgent, incoherent, and politically incorrect stuff in the second/third/X-th pass. But your great passages, as long as they reveal character, move the story forward (or at least don't stall for too long--if they're really philosophical and insightful and shed light on the eternal human condition), help readers visualize setting or other important images, or drop hints about the tone/mood of the book to come, should stay. Those are the true darlings, and we should appreciate them! Because all around them are our clunky old bits that we can't improve any further, and we need the cadenced stuff for the reward.
Perhaps instead of the "kill your darlings" catchphrase (which is self-consciously clever and kind of obnoxious), they ought to say, "lose the self-indulgent parts--you know what we mean." They ought to point out that you should lose the stuff that is an inside joke, that makes you look clever when the character is not, or that is totally irrelevant to the story or to character development but is a cool factoid that you are dying to have readers know. THAT is the stuff to lose in the polishing draft stage.
I started out as a little BITTY kid wanting to be an actress, partly because I thought the actors made up their lines (I mean when it wasn't improv--on TV sitcoms and everywhere else). But then I discovered (1) I wasn't the ingenue type, but always played the character actress parts (read "old, fat, or ugly, or the harridan, or the one who has a couple of scenes of comic relief that has the audience screaming and crying, but it only lasts a couple of minutes on the stage), and (2) I had a bit of paralyzing stage fright at the most inconvenient times. So I went into the wings and started scribbling! LOL
In other news, today I got the galley proofs of APRIL, MAYBE JUNE, and the graphics and styling are AWE-INSPIRING. The book looks great! All I have to do now is read it over and see if there are any typos (which would have been introduced during editing, naturally) or glitches, check to make sure they didn't touch my commas and semicolons, and generally find any problems. By Thursday morning. That's so we can get books by the Left Coast conference. Whew!
I'd better get to reading!
She's focused on process more than results. She says she knows her art (painting sets for the theater, doing small paintings or sketches for individuals, and the like) is ephemeral, but it doesn't bother her. She writes:
"It's not the legacy but the execution, the actual doing, that gives me zen."
This is a great orientation. I somehow got the "make something that lasts and possibly outlasts you" gene. I think that when my cousins (the boys, anyway) used to take my crayon drawings and tear them up off the fridge, I got the impression that I didn't like working hard on something that there was only one copy of and that didn't even get seen by my grandmother before it got destroyed. Although I do enjoy the process of creating!
If we didn't love the process, we couldn't do it. We'd be like that raging bull guy in the construction business who can't stand his job because he has to be up on the broiling roof all day.
Writing a novel is part puzzle, part planning, part flying by the seat of your pants, and part listening for the Muse in case she decides to sing a while. The good passages in my books are when the Muse approved and began to hum. Very occasionally she busts into song ("bursts" is just not the Texan way to phrase it). Those are the great parts that people quote on Goodreads.
I have never believed the misguided advice in workshops to "kill your darlings," BTW. That would be silly. You must take out extraneous, redundant, silly, self-indulgent, incoherent, and politically incorrect stuff in the second/third/X-th pass. But your great passages, as long as they reveal character, move the story forward (or at least don't stall for too long--if they're really philosophical and insightful and shed light on the eternal human condition), help readers visualize setting or other important images, or drop hints about the tone/mood of the book to come, should stay. Those are the true darlings, and we should appreciate them! Because all around them are our clunky old bits that we can't improve any further, and we need the cadenced stuff for the reward.
Perhaps instead of the "kill your darlings" catchphrase (which is self-consciously clever and kind of obnoxious), they ought to say, "lose the self-indulgent parts--you know what we mean." They ought to point out that you should lose the stuff that is an inside joke, that makes you look clever when the character is not, or that is totally irrelevant to the story or to character development but is a cool factoid that you are dying to have readers know. THAT is the stuff to lose in the polishing draft stage.
I started out as a little BITTY kid wanting to be an actress, partly because I thought the actors made up their lines (I mean when it wasn't improv--on TV sitcoms and everywhere else). But then I discovered (1) I wasn't the ingenue type, but always played the character actress parts (read "old, fat, or ugly, or the harridan, or the one who has a couple of scenes of comic relief that has the audience screaming and crying, but it only lasts a couple of minutes on the stage), and (2) I had a bit of paralyzing stage fright at the most inconvenient times. So I went into the wings and started scribbling! LOL
In other news, today I got the galley proofs of APRIL, MAYBE JUNE, and the graphics and styling are AWE-INSPIRING. The book looks great! All I have to do now is read it over and see if there are any typos (which would have been introduced during editing, naturally) or glitches, check to make sure they didn't touch my commas and semicolons, and generally find any problems. By Thursday morning. That's so we can get books by the Left Coast conference. Whew!
I'd better get to reading!
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